Grappling With Divinity

Contemplative Christian Reflections by Robert Van Valkenburgh

Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.


What I Write About

At Grappling With Divinity, I write from within the living stream of Christian mysticism and contemplative prayer, where faith is not mastered but practiced — slowly, honestly, and with reverence.

These reflections explore divine love as it meets us in suffering and joy, doubt and surrender, weakness and awakening. They trace the quiet work of conversion — the lifelong unfolding of grace that reshapes the heart and draws us deeper into union with God.

Here you will find meditations on Scripture, spiritual formation, the wisdom of the mystics, and the hidden movements of God within ordinary life.

This is not a place for easy answers.

It is a place for
Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.

A place where faith deepens through mystery, and where even our struggle becomes prayer.

Lectio Divina (Coming Soon)

My writing follows the ancient rhythm of lectio divina — listening, reflecting, praying, and resting in God. Here you’ll find guidance and reflections shaped by this contemplative way of reading Scripture for transformation, not just information.

Practice Lectio Divina →

Christian Mysticism (Coming Soon)

Christian mysticism is the path of deeper union with God. Drawing from the wisdom of the contemplative tradition, this section reflects on divine love, interior transformation, and the indwelling presence of God at the heart of ordinary life.

Explore Christian Mysticism

Spiritual Direction (Coming Soon)

Spiritual direction is the sacred practice of listening for God together. Rooted in the contemplative tradition and informed by my studies at Loyola University Chicago, this space explores discernment, surrender, and the quiet work of grace in everyday life.

Learn More About Spiritual Direction →


A Contemplative Rule Of Life

GRAPPLING WITH DIVINITY.
WRESTLING WITH GOD.
RETURNING TO LOVE.

Explore My Reflections

Following the contemplative rhythm of Lectio Divina
Moving from Attentive Reading (Lectio)
To Reflection (Meditatio)
To Prayerful Response (Oratio)
And finally into Silent Resting in God (Contemplatio)
Grappling With Divinity invites a slow unfolding of Scripture, Spiritual Wisdom, and Lived Experience.

  • Lectio Divina: Joy In Difficulty

    Lectio Divina: Joy In Difficulty

    This Lectio Divina reflects on Pope Francis’ teaching that true Christian joy is not the absence of suffering, but a quiet, enduring light that remains even in life’s hardest moments. Joy may change its expression through grief, struggle, and uncertainty, yet it persists because it is rooted in the unshakable truth that we are…

  • Oratio Divina: Love His Broken Children

    Oratio Divina: Love His Broken Children

    This Oratio Divina reflects on the most demanding commandment of the Gospel: loving those whose hearts have been hardened by trauma, fear, pride, or resentment. It reminds us that authentic love of God is inseparable from loving His broken children, especially when love feels undeserved or costly. By recalling how God loved us in…

  • Lectio Divina: The Medicine Of Mercy

    Lectio Divina: The Medicine Of Mercy

    This Lectio Divina reflects on the holiness of God the Father and His patient work of perfecting His children through mercy. Rather than demanding instant perfection, God heals and transforms us gradually over a lifetime, applying the medicine of mercy with tenderness and wisdom. The reflection invites readers to trust the slow, loving process…

  • Oratio Divina: Through The Cracks

    Oratio Divina: Through The Cracks

    This Oratio Divina reflects on the truth that no one approaches God in perfect wholeness, but in humility and need. It proclaims that God calls us precisely in our brokenness, where sin and wounds become the place of divine healing. In Christ, human weakness is transformed into God’s strength, and through the cracks of…

  • Lectio Divina: The Soul’s Health

    Lectio Divina: The Soul’s Health

    This Lectio Divina reflects on the healing power of divine love, affirming that the soul’s true health is found not in self-sufficiency but in growing union with God. As love deepens, the soul is restored, strengthened, and made whole. Fr. Daniel Chowning’s insight invites readers to see spiritual growth as a movement toward love—where…

  • Oratio Divina: Yours Is The Treasure

    Oratio Divina: Yours Is The Treasure

    This Oratio Divina is a heartfelt prayer of healing and surrender, asking Jesus to free the soul from worldly attachments to money, honor, and power that distract from true love. It expresses a longing to be drawn into Christ’s embrace and to seek the lasting treasure of God’s Kingdom rather than fleeting earthly glory.…

  • Lectio Divina: A Good Death

    Lectio Divina: A Good Death

    In this Lectio Divina on Karl Rahner’s reflection, we are invited to contemplate the mystery of a “good death” as radical trust in God amid felt abandonment. Rahner points to Jesus on the cross as the model of ultimate faith: accepting inner darkness and god-forsakenness without consolation, yet without despair. This meditation explores how…

  • Oratio Divina: How Long Lord

    Oratio Divina: How Long Lord

    This Oratio Divina reflects on God’s patient, enduring love in the face of human resistance and self-will. It traces the journey from ignoring God’s call to returning home humbled by pain, only to discover a Father who welcomes the repentant heart with joy, mercy, and celebration. The meditation echoes the Gospel truth that God…

  • Lectio Divina: Trained In Peace

    Lectio Divina: Trained In Peace

    Drawing on the wisdom of Clement of Alexandria, this reflection invites the reader into a contemplative vision of Christian discipleship formed not by violence or domination, but by peace, simplicity, and love. This Lectio Divina calls believers to trust in the transforming power of gentleness, to lay aside the weapons of fear and control,…

  • Oratio Divina: Christ On The Cross

    Oratio Divina: Christ On The Cross

    This Oratio Divina reflects on Christ on the cross as a call not to passivity, violence, or escape, but to courageous, self-giving love. In the face of suffering, betrayal, and injustice, Christ invites us to forgive, to pray for mercy, and to stand firmly for love—even when it costs us everything. The cross becomes…

  • No Longer Carved in Stone: Augustine of Hippo and Love as God’s One Law (Lectio Divina)

    What if the law you can’t seem to keep was never meant to be kept from outside at all? Augustine insists something was written into you long before you ever tried, and failed, to obey a command pressed on you from without.

  • Even a Pin Picked Up in Love: Thérèse of Lisieux and the Little Way of Sabbath (Lectio Divina)

    What if the smallest thing you do today — a pin lifted from the floor, a quiet hour handed over — carries more weight than the great things you keep waiting to do? Thérèse of Lisieux hints at a strange arithmetic of love, and this reflection sits with the Sabbath we keep so imperfectly, and…

  • The Calm We Cannot Make: St. John Chrysostom on Tears, Confession, and Peace (Lectio Divina)

    What if the peace you keep trying to manufacture was never yours to make? St. John Chrysostom describes the calm that follows tears the way a violent storm gives way to stillness, and this reflection sits with the ache of falling short of the peace Christ asks us to carry — and the distance between…