Grappling With Divinity

Contemplative Christian Reflections by Robert Van Valkenburgh

Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.


What I Write About

At Grappling With Divinity, I write from within the living stream of Christian mysticism and contemplative prayer, where faith is not mastered but practiced — slowly, honestly, and with reverence.

These reflections explore divine love as it meets us in suffering and joy, doubt and surrender, weakness and awakening. They trace the quiet work of conversion — the lifelong unfolding of grace that reshapes the heart and draws us deeper into union with God.

Here you will find meditations on Scripture, spiritual formation, the wisdom of the mystics, and the hidden movements of God within ordinary life.

This is not a place for easy answers.

It is a place for
Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.

A place where faith deepens through mystery, and where even our struggle becomes prayer.

Lectio Divina (Coming Soon)

My writing follows the ancient rhythm of lectio divina — listening, reflecting, praying, and resting in God. Here you’ll find guidance and reflections shaped by this contemplative way of reading Scripture for transformation, not just information.

Practice Lectio Divina →

Christian Mysticism (Coming Soon)

Christian mysticism is the path of deeper union with God. Drawing from the wisdom of the contemplative tradition, this section reflects on divine love, interior transformation, and the indwelling presence of God at the heart of ordinary life.

Explore Christian Mysticism

Spiritual Direction (Coming Soon)

Spiritual direction is the sacred practice of listening for God together. Rooted in the contemplative tradition and informed by my studies at Loyola University Chicago, this space explores discernment, surrender, and the quiet work of grace in everyday life.

Learn More About Spiritual Direction →


A Contemplative Rule Of Life

GRAPPLING WITH DIVINITY.
WRESTLING WITH GOD.
RETURNING TO LOVE.

Explore My Reflections

Following the contemplative rhythm of Lectio Divina
Moving from Attentive Reading (Lectio)
To Reflection (Meditatio)
To Prayerful Response (Oratio)
And finally into Silent Resting in God (Contemplatio)
Grappling With Divinity invites a slow unfolding of Scripture, Spiritual Wisdom, and Lived Experience.

  • Oratio Divina: For You Alone

    Oratio Divina: For You Alone

    A contemplative reflection on the soul’s deep longing for God alone, expressing the ache of spiritual desire amid the brokenness, distractions, and limitations of the world. This piece explores the tension between fleeting encounters with God’s presence and the enduring hunger for divine love, grace, and union beyond what can be seen or grasped.

  • Lectio Divina: The Cloud Of Unknowing

    Lectio Divina: The Cloud Of Unknowing

    A brief reflection on The Cloud of Unknowing highlights the heart of contemplative prayer: persevering love. The soul is invited to pierce the mystery of God not through intellect or effort, but through a steadfast longing that continues to love even in darkness, uncertainty, and spiritual dryness.

  • Oratio Divina: For But One Thing

    Oratio Divina: For But One Thing

    A sobering reflection on spiritual sickness and the deep inner wound that no worldly effort can heal. This passage confronts the emptiness left when the soul is untreated and points toward the one true source of healing beyond human strength, planning, or self-reliance.

  • Lectio Divina: Every Trial

    Lectio Divina: Every Trial

    A brief reflection on St. Nektarios of Aegina’s insight that every trial is an invitation to deeper trust in God, encouraging believers to see hardship as a path to faith, perseverance, and spiritual growth.

  • Oratio Divina: Retreat Into Silence

    Oratio Divina: Retreat Into Silence

    A prayerful meditation inviting the soul to retreat into silence and rest in God when overwhelmed, discovering Him as refuge, comfort, and loving presence within the inner room of the heart.

  • Lectio Divina: In God’s Love

    Lectio Divina: In God’s Love

    A contemplative reflection from Trappist monk and disciple of Thomas Mertonc, Paul Quenon, on discovering that God’s love is not something we must search for, but a reality we already live within—inviting attentiveness, openness, and awareness of God’s constant presence.

  • Oratio Divina: Blessed Mother

    Oratio Divina: Blessed Mother

    A prayerful meditation invoking the Blessed Mother’s guidance in wisdom, grace, and mercy, this reflection centers on Mary’s humble “yes” to God as a model for all disciples. Rooted in the Living Word and the Spirit of love, it calls believers to trust, surrender, and faithful obedience under the cross, echoing Mary’s fiat as…

  • Lectio Divina: Look In The Mirror

    Lectio Divina: Look In The Mirror

    St. Padre Pio highlights the necessity of meditation for spiritual awareness and growth, comparing it to looking in a mirror before going out. Without prayerful reflection, we risk living unaware of our inner state. Meditation helps us recognize our faults, grow in holiness, and present ourselves honestly before God and others.

  • Oratio Divina: Presence And Awe

    Oratio Divina: Presence And Awe

    This reflective poem explores the fleeting nature of time through the image of a feather caught in a windstorm. It invites readers to release control, embrace patience, and encounter time not as something to be possessed, but as a sacred experience received through presence, awe, and childlike wonder. Rooted in spiritual mindfulness, the reflection…

  • Lectio Divina: Capacity To Contain

    Lectio Divina: Capacity To Contain

    Henri Nouwen reflects on the boundless will of God as an inexhaustible ocean, inviting believers to continually expand their hearts through faith, confidence, and love. This meditation emphasizes spiritual growth, trust in God’s guidance, and the deepening capacity to receive God’s grace in everyday life.

  • Owe Nothing But Love: Theodoret of Cyrus on Love as the Fulfilling of the Law (Lectio Divina)

    What if the command to love was never a debt you could actually pay off? Theodoret of Cyrus reads Paul’s warning about owing nothing but love and finds something stranger than an obligation — a debt that grows the more it’s paid, rather than shrinking. This reflection sits with what it feels like to carry…

  • No Longer Carved in Stone: Augustine of Hippo and Love as God’s One Law (Lectio Divina)

    What if the law you can’t seem to keep was never meant to be kept from outside at all? Augustine insists something was written into you long before you ever tried, and failed, to obey a command pressed on you from without.

  • Even a Pin Picked Up in Love: Thérèse of Lisieux and the Little Way of Sabbath (Lectio Divina)

    What if the smallest thing you do today — a pin lifted from the floor, a quiet hour handed over — carries more weight than the great things you keep waiting to do? Thérèse of Lisieux hints at a strange arithmetic of love, and this reflection sits with the Sabbath we keep so imperfectly, and…