Grappling With Divinity

Contemplative Christian Reflections by Robert Van Valkenburgh

Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.


What I Write About

At Grappling With Divinity, I write from within the living stream of Christian mysticism and contemplative prayer, where faith is not mastered but practiced — slowly, honestly, and with reverence.

These reflections explore divine love as it meets us in suffering and joy, doubt and surrender, weakness and awakening. They trace the quiet work of conversion — the lifelong unfolding of grace that reshapes the heart and draws us deeper into union with God.

Here you will find meditations on Scripture, spiritual formation, the wisdom of the mystics, and the hidden movements of God within ordinary life.

This is not a place for easy answers.

It is a place for
Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.

A place where faith deepens through mystery, and where even our struggle becomes prayer.

Lectio Divina (Coming Soon)

My writing follows the ancient rhythm of lectio divina — listening, reflecting, praying, and resting in God. Here you’ll find guidance and reflections shaped by this contemplative way of reading Scripture for transformation, not just information.

Practice Lectio Divina →

Christian Mysticism (Coming Soon)

Christian mysticism is the path of deeper union with God. Drawing from the wisdom of the contemplative tradition, this section reflects on divine love, interior transformation, and the indwelling presence of God at the heart of ordinary life.

Explore Christian Mysticism

Spiritual Direction (Coming Soon)

Spiritual direction is the sacred practice of listening for God together. Rooted in the contemplative tradition and informed by my studies at Loyola University Chicago, this space explores discernment, surrender, and the quiet work of grace in everyday life.

Learn More About Spiritual Direction →


A Contemplative Rule Of Life

GRAPPLING WITH DIVINITY.
WRESTLING WITH GOD.
RETURNING TO LOVE.

Explore My Reflections

Following the contemplative rhythm of Lectio Divina
Moving from Attentive Reading (Lectio)
To Reflection (Meditatio)
To Prayerful Response (Oratio)
And finally into Silent Resting in God (Contemplatio)
Grappling With Divinity invites a slow unfolding of Scripture, Spiritual Wisdom, and Lived Experience.

  • Oratio Divina: Perpetual Creation

    Oratio Divina: Perpetual Creation

    This reflective poem proclaims that God’s creative work is not confined to the past but is an ongoing, present-moment act. All of existence—creation itself, human life, and every breath—is continuously sustained by God’s loving word and Spirit. Rooted in Christian contemplative theology, the passage invites readers to recognize their moment-by-moment dependence on divine love…

  • Lectio Divina: Trust To God

    Lectio Divina: Trust To God

    St. Augustine of Hippo reminds believers to entrust every dimension of life to God—our past to His mercy, our present to His love, and our future to His providence. This timeless reflection invites Christians to live in freedom from regret, rooted in divine love today, and confident in God’s faithful guidance for what lies…

  • Oratio Divina: Something Real

    Oratio Divina: Something Real

    A heartfelt prayer-poem expressing deep spiritual longing for Jesus amid doubt and inner deception. Drawing on the image of touching the hem of Christ’s garment, the reflection explores the desire for real encounter, transforming mercy, and immersive divine presence that anchors faith in Christ as the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

  • Lectio Divina: Prayer Changes You

    Lectio Divina: Prayer Changes You

    This reflection on Richard Rohr’s insight—“Prayer is about changing you, not about changing God”—explores prayer as a transformative practice that reshapes the heart, aligns the soul with God’s will, and deepens spiritual maturity. Rather than attempting to persuade God, prayer becomes a space of surrender, listening, and inner conversion, drawing the believer into greater…

  • Oratio Divina: The Fruits Of Christ

    Oratio Divina: The Fruits Of Christ

    A contemplative Christian reflection on spiritual fruitfulness, emphasizing humanity’s dependence on God. Drawing on the imagery of a tree, this meditation highlights the light of the Lord, the nourishing work of the Holy Spirit, and the living water of Christ as essential sources of life, growth, and sweetness in the fruit we bear for…

  • Lectio Divina: The Dew Of God

    Lectio Divina: The Dew Of God

    St. Irenaeus of Lyons uses the imagery of parched land and life-giving dew to describe humanity’s dependence on God’s grace. Without the “dew of God,” the soul remains scorched and barren; with it, we are revived, sustained, and made fruitful. This reflection highlights the Holy Spirit as divine nourishment, essential for true life, growth,…

  • Oratio Divina: An Invitation To Silence

    Oratio Divina: An Invitation To Silence

    A contemplative reflection on how noise, distraction, and temptation draw the soul away from God, while silence opens the heart to the gentle whisper of the Holy Spirit. This meditation contrasts the false promises of sin with the peace found in attentiveness, prayer, and interior stillness before the Lord.

  • Lectio Divina: He Who Made Them

    Lectio Divina: He Who Made Them

    Johannes Scotus Eriugena teaches that the beauty and form of the created world reveal the Word of God. By contemplating sensible things with spiritual insight, we come to know the Creator present in all creation, where truth ultimately points back to God alone.

  • Oratio Divina: For You Alone

    Oratio Divina: For You Alone

    A contemplative reflection on the soul’s deep longing for God alone, expressing the ache of spiritual desire amid the brokenness, distractions, and limitations of the world. This piece explores the tension between fleeting encounters with God’s presence and the enduring hunger for divine love, grace, and union beyond what can be seen or grasped.

  • Lectio Divina: The Cloud Of Unknowing

    Lectio Divina: The Cloud Of Unknowing

    A brief reflection on The Cloud of Unknowing highlights the heart of contemplative prayer: persevering love. The soul is invited to pierce the mystery of God not through intellect or effort, but through a steadfast longing that continues to love even in darkness, uncertainty, and spiritual dryness.

  • Even a Pin Picked Up in Love: Thérèse of Lisieux and the Little Way of Sabbath (Lectio Divina)

    What if the smallest thing you do today — a pin lifted from the floor, a quiet hour handed over — carries more weight than the great things you keep waiting to do? Thérèse of Lisieux hints at a strange arithmetic of love, and this reflection sits with the Sabbath we keep so imperfectly, and…

  • The Calm We Cannot Make: St. John Chrysostom on Tears, Confession, and Peace (Lectio Divina)

    What if the peace you keep trying to manufacture was never yours to make? St. John Chrysostom describes the calm that follows tears the way a violent storm gives way to stillness, and this reflection sits with the ache of falling short of the peace Christ asks us to carry — and the distance between…

  • Whitewashed and Withholding: Origen on the Mercy We Refuse to Give (Lectio Divina)

    What if the reconciliation you keep postponing is the very thing standing between you and the God you’re trying to reach? Origen names a righteousness that’s dead on arrival — polished outside, hollow within — and this reflection sits with the mercy we’d rather hoard than pass on, and the depths waiting for those who…