Grappling With Divinity

Grappling With Divinity

Contemplative Christian Reflections by Robert Van Valkenburgh

Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.

Read Today’s Reflection

What I Write About

At Grappling With Divinity, I write from within the living stream of Christian mysticism and contemplative prayer, where faith is not mastered but practiced — slowly, honestly, and with reverence.

These reflections explore divine love as it meets us in suffering and joy, doubt and surrender, weakness and awakening. They trace the quiet work of conversion — the lifelong unfolding of grace that reshapes the heart and draws us deeper into union with God.

Here you will find meditations on Scripture, spiritual formation, the wisdom of the mystics, and the hidden movements of God within ordinary life.

This is not a place for easy answers.

It is a place for
Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.

A place where faith deepens through mystery, and where even our struggle becomes prayer.

Lectio Divina (Coming Soon)

My writing follows the ancient rhythm of lectio divina — listening, reflecting, praying, and resting in God. Here you’ll find guidance and reflections shaped by this contemplative way of reading Scripture for transformation, not just information.

Practice Lectio Divina →

Christian Mysticism (Coming Soon)

Christian mysticism is the path of deeper union with God. Drawing from the wisdom of the contemplative tradition, this section reflects on divine love, interior transformation, and the indwelling presence of God at the heart of ordinary life.

Explore Christian Mysticism→

Spiritual Direction (Coming Soon)

Spiritual direction is the sacred practice of listening for God together. Rooted in the contemplative tradition and informed by my studies at Loyola University Chicago, this space explores discernment, surrender, and the quiet work of grace in everyday life.

Learn More About Spiritual Direction →

A Contemplative Rule Of Life

Silence

“Be still, and know that I am God.” — Psalm 46:10

Silence is where we meet God in faithfulness, where His still, quiet voice is heard.

In silence, the false-self loosens its grip, striving softens, and the deeper current of divine love is felt beneath the noise. Silence is not absence — it is encounter, recollection, and reunion. It is the inner room wherein grace does its hidden work, bringing us to stillness in love.

Surrender

“Not my will, but yours be done.” — Luke 22:42

Transformation does not come by force. It comes by consent.

Surrender is not passivity, but courageous yielding — on the mat, in marriage, in study, in prayer. It is the steady relinquishing of control so that conversion may unfold. What feels like loss becomes opening; what feels like weakness becomes strength received; what feels like darkness becomes fullness in and of God.

Steadfastness

“Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we shall reap, if we do not give up.” — Galatians 6:9

Stay. Remain faithful in struggle. Do not turn away from love.

Steadfastness is the refusal to flee when faith feels dry or God feels hidden. It is the quiet fidelity that trusts blessing can emerge from grappling with the tension between our inborn humanity and our indwelling divinity. It is love practiced over time — faithful, patient, and rooted in the love that is true and holy.

GRAPPLING WITH DIVINITY.
WRESTLING WITH GOD.
RETURNING TO LOVE.

Latest Thoughts

Explore My Reflections

Following the contemplative rhythm of Lectio Divina
Moving from Attentive Reading (Lectio)
To Reflection (Meditatio)
To Prayerful Response (Oratio)
And finally into Silent Resting in God (Contemplatio)
Grappling With Divinity invites a slow unfolding of Scripture, Spiritual Wisdom, and Lived Experience.

  • Lectio Divina: The Arrowhead Of Evangelization

    Lectio Divina: The Arrowhead Of Evangelization

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    Robert Van Valkenburgh

    Bishop Robert Barron highlights beauty as the leading edge of evangelization, capable of opening hearts and minds to the truth of the Gospel. This reflection explores how beauty draws people toward Christ by awakening desire, wonder, and receptivity before argument or doctrine ever begins.

  • Oratio Divina: The First Lie

    Oratio Divina: The First Lie

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    Robert Van Valkenburgh

    This reflection confronts the foundational lie that God cannot be trusted or is unnecessary, revealing how self-reliance and worldly pursuits promise satisfaction but fail to deliver lasting peace. True and everlasting peace is found not through human effort or pleasure, but through faith, obedience, and submission to God—turning away from worldly ways and toward…

  • Lectio Divina: Unbelief Is The Root Of Violence

    Lectio Divina: Unbelief Is The Root Of Violence

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    Robert Van Valkenburgh

    Jacques Ellul challenges Christians to examine the roots of violence, asserting that reliance on force grows where faith diminishes. This reflection highlights how authentic Christian discipleship flows from trust in God rather than coercion, calling believers back to the way of peace, humility, and faith modeled by Christ.

  • Oratio Divina: True Love

    Oratio Divina: True Love

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    Robert Van Valkenburgh

    This Christ-centered poem reflects on unconditional love as the defining mark of life in Christ. It explores how enemies and suffering become teachers of divine love, revealing a spiritual rebirth in which believers die to the world and live by the boundless, eternal love of the Spirit.

  • Lectio Divina: Begin Again

    Lectio Divina: Begin Again

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    Robert Van Valkenburgh

    A concise reflection on C.S. Lewis’s reminder that trusting God is a daily, ongoing surrender. This quote invites readers to release self-reliance and begin each day anew in faith, dependence, and grace, discovering how daily trust deepens spiritual life and humility.

  • Oratio Divina: To Know Peace

    Oratio Divina: To Know Peace

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    Robert Van Valkenburgh

    A contemplative meditation on unconditional peace—an abiding, boundary-breaking peace rooted in Christ, embraced through faith, sustained by the Father’s mercy, and animated by the Holy Spirit. This reflection invites readers to consider peace not as a circumstance, but as a gift ever-present within the life of God.

  • Lectio Divina: Share Your Astonishment

    Lectio Divina: Share Your Astonishment

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    Robert Van Valkenburgh

    Mary Oliver’s simple yet profound invitation—pay attention, be astonished, and share—captures the heart of contemplative living. This reflection highlights the spiritual practice of noticing the sacred in ordinary life, allowing wonder to awaken gratitude, and letting that wonder overflow into generous witness. It speaks to mindfulness, awe, creativity, and the call to share beauty…

  • Oratio Divina: Facing Violence

    Oratio Divina: Facing Violence

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    Robert Van Valkenburgh

    A contemplative Christian poem wrestling with how to confront the violence of the world without becoming violent in spirit. Drawing on the imagery of the Armor of God, the reflection explores resisting evil through peace, forgiveness, faith, and love, embodying Christ’s light while standing firmly against darkness through mercy and truth.

  • Lectio Divina: Unconditional Peace

    Lectio Divina: Unconditional Peace

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    Robert Van Valkenburgh

    James Finley contrasts the fragile peace offered by the world—one dependent on favorable circumstances—with the enduring peace given by Jesus, a peace rooted in the mystery of the Cross. This Christ-centered peace remains unshaken amid suffering, revealing a spiritual freedom that transcends external conditions and invites trust in God’s presence even in hardship.

  • Oratio Divina: Treasure In Heaven

    Oratio Divina: Treasure In Heaven

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    Robert Van Valkenburgh

    This poem calls the reader to seek lasting treasure not in earthly possessions but in God alone. By turning fully to the Lord and embracing what is freely given and eternal, the soul discovers true fulfillment—riches that satisfy the deepest longings of the heart and endure beyond all that passes away.

  • No Longer Carved in Stone: Augustine of Hippo and Love as God’s One Law (Lectio Divina)

    What if the law you can’t seem to keep was never meant to be kept from outside at all? Augustine insists something was written into you long before you ever tried, and failed, to obey a command pressed on you from without.

  • Even a Pin Picked Up in Love: Thérèse of Lisieux and the Little Way of Sabbath (Lectio Divina)

    What if the smallest thing you do today — a pin lifted from the floor, a quiet hour handed over — carries more weight than the great things you keep waiting to do? Thérèse of Lisieux hints at a strange arithmetic of love, and this reflection sits with the Sabbath we keep so imperfectly, and…

  • The Calm We Cannot Make: St. John Chrysostom on Tears, Confession, and Peace (Lectio Divina)

    What if the peace you keep trying to manufacture was never yours to make? St. John Chrysostom describes the calm that follows tears the way a violent storm gives way to stillness, and this reflection sits with the ache of falling short of the peace Christ asks us to carry — and the distance between…

Robert Van Valkenburgh

Owner of Grappling With Divinity & Co-Founder Of Kogen Dojo

I am a husband and father, a Brazilian jiu-jitsu practitioner and instructor, and a graduate student in Christian Spirituality and Spiritual Direction at Loyola University Chicago.

At Grappling With Divinity, I explore the mystery of God through Christian mysticism and contemplative prayer — wrestling with divine love, suffering, conversion, and the slow work of grace in ordinary life.

The discipline of martial arts and the discipline of silent prayer have taught me something similar: transformation comes through practice and surrender. My writing reflects that lived tension — strength and weakness, struggle and trust, effort and grace — as I continue learning what it means to seek union with God in the midst of family, jiu-jitsu, study, and everyday responsibility.