Grappling With Divinity

Contemplative Christian Reflections by Robert Van Valkenburgh

Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.


What I Write About

At Grappling With Divinity, I write from within the living stream of Christian mysticism and contemplative prayer, where faith is not mastered but practiced — slowly, honestly, and with reverence.

These reflections explore divine love as it meets us in suffering and joy, doubt and surrender, weakness and awakening. They trace the quiet work of conversion — the lifelong unfolding of grace that reshapes the heart and draws us deeper into union with God.

Here you will find meditations on Scripture, spiritual formation, the wisdom of the mystics, and the hidden movements of God within ordinary life.

This is not a place for easy answers.

It is a place for
Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.

A place where faith deepens through mystery, and where even our struggle becomes prayer.

Lectio Divina (Coming Soon)

My writing follows the ancient rhythm of lectio divina — listening, reflecting, praying, and resting in God. Here you’ll find guidance and reflections shaped by this contemplative way of reading Scripture for transformation, not just information.

Practice Lectio Divina →

Christian Mysticism (Coming Soon)

Christian mysticism is the path of deeper union with God. Drawing from the wisdom of the contemplative tradition, this section reflects on divine love, interior transformation, and the indwelling presence of God at the heart of ordinary life.

Explore Christian Mysticism

Spiritual Direction (Coming Soon)

Spiritual direction is the sacred practice of listening for God together. Rooted in the contemplative tradition and informed by my studies at Loyola University Chicago, this space explores discernment, surrender, and the quiet work of grace in everyday life.

Learn More About Spiritual Direction →


A Contemplative Rule Of Life

GRAPPLING WITH DIVINITY.
WRESTLING WITH GOD.
RETURNING TO LOVE.

Explore My Reflections

Following the contemplative rhythm of Lectio Divina
Moving from Attentive Reading (Lectio)
To Reflection (Meditatio)
To Prayerful Response (Oratio)
And finally into Silent Resting in God (Contemplatio)
Grappling With Divinity invites a slow unfolding of Scripture, Spiritual Wisdom, and Lived Experience.

  • Oratio Divina: Christ On The Cross

    Oratio Divina: Christ On The Cross

    This Oratio Divina reflects on Christ on the cross as a call not to passivity, violence, or escape, but to courageous, self-giving love. In the face of suffering, betrayal, and injustice, Christ invites us to forgive, to pray for mercy, and to stand firmly for love—even when it costs us everything. The cross becomes…

  • Lectio Divina: Culpable, Harmless, Or Just

    Lectio Divina: Culpable, Harmless, Or Just

    In this Lectio Divina, St. Bernard of Clairvaux draws a careful distinction between humiliation and true humility. Being humiliated does not automatically make one humble; rather, the heart’s response reveals the soul’s posture. Anger resists grace and deepens injustice, patience bears suffering without transformation, and freedom accepts humiliation in union with Christ, allowing it…

  • Oratio Divina: Dust And Ether

    Oratio Divina: Dust And Ether

    This Oratio Divina is a tender prayer of grief and longing, expressing the ache of spiritual intimacy shared with a dear friend who has passed away. In the silence left by death, the writer turns toward God, yearning to be understood and accompanied in the mysterious work the Lord continues to do within the…

  • Lectio Divina: Vessels Of Love

    Lectio Divina: Vessels Of Love

    This Lectio Divina reflects on Saint Clare of Assisi’s invitation to become vessels of God’s compassionate love. It meditates on the call to receive God’s mercy fully and allow it to flow outward through humility, simplicity, and self-giving love. Rather than clinging to grace for ourselves, we are invited to be emptied and transformed…

  • Oratio Divina: A Moment Of Grace

    Oratio Divina: A Moment Of Grace

    This Oratio Divina reflects on a sudden, grace-filled awakening to human powerlessness and the transforming mercy of God. In a moment of divine illumination, the soul recognizes its sin, vanity, and inability to change apart from grace. From this place of honest surrender arises a cry for Jesus—our Savior, hope, and salvation—leading to spiritual…

  • Lectio Divina: He Invites Them

    Lectio Divina: He Invites Them

    In this brief yet profound reflection, Jamie Baxter reminds us that Christ does not force discipleship—He invites it. The call of the Lord respects human freedom, drawing the apostles not through compulsion, but through love, trust, and relationship. True discipleship begins with an open heart that freely responds to God’s gentle invitation, choosing to…

  • Oratio Divina: Is It Enough

    Oratio Divina: Is It Enough

    This oratio divina reflects on the inseparable connection between loving Christ and loving others—family, stranger, poor, needy, and even enemy. It challenges the believer to recognize that salvation is a gift meant to be shared, not hidden or hoarded. True discipleship mirrors Christ’s self-sacrificial love, extending mercy, compassion, and light to “the least of…

  • Lectio Divina: A Little Sincerity

    Lectio Divina: A Little Sincerity

    This Lectio Divina reflection on Thomas Merton’s words, “With God, a little sincerity goes a long, long way,” invites us to return to the heart of authentic spiritual life: honest openness before God. Even the smallest offering of sincerity—our imperfect prayers, our quiet attempts to seek Him, our desire to be real—becomes fertile ground…

  • Oratio Divina: Will To Love

    Oratio Divina: Will To Love

    This oratio divina reflects on the truth that love can never be forced—it flourishes only in freedom. Real love is an intentional choice, offered with open hands and an open heart, and received in the same spirit. This meditation invites readers to consider how authentic love requires vulnerability, willingness, and mutuality. It centers on…

  • Lectio Divina: Now And Without End

    Lectio Divina: Now And Without End

    Julian of Norwich reminds us that God lifts us into abundant joy through mercy and grace. This Lectio Divina reflection centers on God’s desire for us to know and love Him endlessly—a relationship rooted not only in divine righteousness but also in deep compassion. It invites readers to rest in the truth that God’s…

  • Owe Nothing But Love: Theodoret of Cyrus on Love as the Fulfilling of the Law (Lectio Divina)

    What if the command to love was never a debt you could actually pay off? Theodoret of Cyrus reads Paul’s warning about owing nothing but love and finds something stranger than an obligation — a debt that grows the more it’s paid, rather than shrinking. This reflection sits with what it feels like to carry…

  • No Longer Carved in Stone: Augustine of Hippo and Love as God’s One Law (Lectio Divina)

    What if the law you can’t seem to keep was never meant to be kept from outside at all? Augustine insists something was written into you long before you ever tried, and failed, to obey a command pressed on you from without.

  • Even a Pin Picked Up in Love: Thérèse of Lisieux and the Little Way of Sabbath (Lectio Divina)

    What if the smallest thing you do today — a pin lifted from the floor, a quiet hour handed over — carries more weight than the great things you keep waiting to do? Thérèse of Lisieux hints at a strange arithmetic of love, and this reflection sits with the Sabbath we keep so imperfectly, and…