Grappling With Divinity

Contemplative Christian Reflections by Robert Van Valkenburgh

Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.


What I Write About

At Grappling With Divinity, I write from within the living stream of Christian mysticism and contemplative prayer, where faith is not mastered but practiced — slowly, honestly, and with reverence.

These reflections explore divine love as it meets us in suffering and joy, doubt and surrender, weakness and awakening. They trace the quiet work of conversion — the lifelong unfolding of grace that reshapes the heart and draws us deeper into union with God.

Here you will find meditations on Scripture, spiritual formation, the wisdom of the mystics, and the hidden movements of God within ordinary life.

This is not a place for easy answers.

It is a place for
Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.

A place where faith deepens through mystery, and where even our struggle becomes prayer.

Lectio Divina (Coming Soon)

My writing follows the ancient rhythm of lectio divina — listening, reflecting, praying, and resting in God. Here you’ll find guidance and reflections shaped by this contemplative way of reading Scripture for transformation, not just information.

Practice Lectio Divina →

Christian Mysticism (Coming Soon)

Christian mysticism is the path of deeper union with God. Drawing from the wisdom of the contemplative tradition, this section reflects on divine love, interior transformation, and the indwelling presence of God at the heart of ordinary life.

Explore Christian Mysticism

Spiritual Direction (Coming Soon)

Spiritual direction is the sacred practice of listening for God together. Rooted in the contemplative tradition and informed by my studies at Loyola University Chicago, this space explores discernment, surrender, and the quiet work of grace in everyday life.

Learn More About Spiritual Direction →


A Contemplative Rule Of Life

GRAPPLING WITH DIVINITY.
WRESTLING WITH GOD.
RETURNING TO LOVE.

Explore My Reflections

Following the contemplative rhythm of Lectio Divina
Moving from Attentive Reading (Lectio)
To Reflection (Meditatio)
To Prayerful Response (Oratio)
And finally into Silent Resting in God (Contemplatio)
Grappling With Divinity invites a slow unfolding of Scripture, Spiritual Wisdom, and Lived Experience.

  • Layer by Layer: How God Frees Us From the Darkness We Cling To (Lectio Divina)

    What does it really mean to be born again — not once, but continually, layer by layer? Drawing on Henri Nouwen’s reflection on spiritual rebirth in Discernment, this Lectio Divina explores why conversion is often painful rather than joyful: because we cling to the very darkness that drove us to God, refusing to release what…

  • What We Love We Shall Grow to Resemble: On Love, Forgiveness, and the Soul’s Formation (Lectio Divina)

    What we love, we shall grow to resemble. Drawing on Bernard of Clairvaux, the Dhammapada, the Sermon on the Mount, and Paul’s letter to the Romans, this Lectio Divina meditation traces the quiet logic of the soul’s formation through its own outpouring. It is not what is done to us that damages the soul, but…

  • Lie Down, Be Still: The Gift of Sabbath Rest in Christ (Lectio Divina)

    In this Lectio Divina reflection, Robert Van Valkenburgh begins with a friend’s confession that his life feels like a hamster on a wheel — spinning under the weight of obligations, responsibilities, and everyone else’s needs and agendas. From this honest moment of recognition, the post moves into a meditation on Sabbath not as idleness but…