Grappling With Divinity

Contemplative Christian Reflections by Robert Van Valkenburgh

Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.


What I Write About

At Grappling With Divinity, I write from within the living stream of Christian mysticism and contemplative prayer, where faith is not mastered but practiced — slowly, honestly, and with reverence.

These reflections explore divine love as it meets us in suffering and joy, doubt and surrender, weakness and awakening. They trace the quiet work of conversion — the lifelong unfolding of grace that reshapes the heart and draws us deeper into union with God.

Here you will find meditations on Scripture, spiritual formation, the wisdom of the mystics, and the hidden movements of God within ordinary life.

This is not a place for easy answers.

It is a place for
Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.

A place where faith deepens through mystery, and where even our struggle becomes prayer.

Lectio Divina (Coming Soon)

My writing follows the ancient rhythm of lectio divina — listening, reflecting, praying, and resting in God. Here you’ll find guidance and reflections shaped by this contemplative way of reading Scripture for transformation, not just information.

Practice Lectio Divina →

Christian Mysticism (Coming Soon)

Christian mysticism is the path of deeper union with God. Drawing from the wisdom of the contemplative tradition, this section reflects on divine love, interior transformation, and the indwelling presence of God at the heart of ordinary life.

Explore Christian Mysticism

Spiritual Direction (Coming Soon)

Spiritual direction is the sacred practice of listening for God together. Rooted in the contemplative tradition and informed by my studies at Loyola University Chicago, this space explores discernment, surrender, and the quiet work of grace in everyday life.

Learn More About Spiritual Direction →


A Contemplative Rule Of Life

GRAPPLING WITH DIVINITY.
WRESTLING WITH GOD.
RETURNING TO LOVE.

Explore My Reflections

Following the contemplative rhythm of Lectio Divina
Moving from Attentive Reading (Lectio)
To Reflection (Meditatio)
To Prayerful Response (Oratio)
And finally into Silent Resting in God (Contemplatio)
Grappling With Divinity invites a slow unfolding of Scripture, Spiritual Wisdom, and Lived Experience.

  • Lectio: To Rest Upon

    Lectio: To Rest Upon

    St. Francis de Sales reminds us that in our misery and weakness, we find the greatest reason to place our trust in God. When we cannot rely on ourselves, we are invited to lean fully on His strength, mercy, and love. True faith grows not in self-sufficiency, but in surrender and dependence on God’s…

  • Oratio: Upon The Rock

    Oratio: Upon The Rock

    This reflection by Robert Van Valkenburgh calls us to build our faith on Christ, the unshakable foundation that withstands temptation, suffering, and the storms of life. Unlike worldly desires or shifting sands, faith rooted in the Lord remains steadfast, enduring, and unbreakable.

  • Lectio: The Rising Sap

    Lectio: The Rising Sap

    Evelyn Underhill beautifully distinguishes faith, hope, and charity: faith perceives reality, charity loves it, while hope looks forward with love to what will be. Faith is steady and rooted like a great tree, but hope is dynamic—ever growing, like a rising sapling and buds preparing to bloom. This reflection highlights the living movement of…

  • Oratio: Facing God

    Oratio: Facing God

    This reflection by Robert Van Valkenburgh reminds us that the face of God is revealed everywhere—in nature’s beauty, in the joy of children, in the vastness of the sky, and in the diversity of humanity, from the rich to the poor, the healthy to the outcast. God’s presence is not only found in what…

  • Lectio: All Your Ways

    Lectio: All Your Ways

    Proverbs 3:5–6 calls believers to place full trust in the Lord, surrendering human understanding to divine wisdom. By acknowledging God in every part of life, He promises to guide and direct our paths with clarity and purpose. A timeless reminder of faith, trust, and reliance on God’s will.

  • Lectio: Deep Listening

    Lectio: Deep Listening

    Carl McColman reminds us that obedience to God is not about blind submission but about deep listening. Rooted in the Latin meaning of the word, true obedience is mindful attention to God’s voice and direction in our lives. This reflection calls us to embrace spiritual attentiveness, discernment, and a heart open to God’s will.

  • Oratio: Embodied Here And Now

    Oratio: Embodied Here And Now

    This reflection by Robert Van Valkenburgh contemplates the mystery of life, death, and eternity. It acknowledges our return to dust and union with the Creator, while emphasizing the importance of living fully in the present—embodied, broken, and whole—for God and for others. A meditation on mortality, presence, and divine purpose.

  • Lectio: Invisible Grace

    Lectio: Invisible Grace

    St. Augustine beautifully describes the essence of a sacrament as “a visible sign of invisible grace.” This timeless truth highlights how the sacraments reveal God’s presence and love in tangible ways, making the unseen grace of Christ accessible to the faithful.

  • Oratio: Healing Hands

    Oratio: Healing Hands

    This reflection by Robert Van Valkenburgh reminds us that we are called to support one another through pain, grief, injustice, and confusion. In a broken world, we are meant to embody Christ’s healing hand, bringing love to the broken places in each other’s hearts. A meditation on compassion, faith, and the mission to be…

  • The Yoke We Were Not Meant To Carry: Brother Lawrence and the Grace That Meets Our Powerlessness (Lectio Divina)

    What if the surrender you keep circling never comes by trying harder, but only by the trying finally giving out? Brother Lawrence asks for a total trust that sounds simple and costs everything, and this reflection sits with the exhaustion that finally lets God in.

  • Owe Nothing But Love: Theodoret of Cyrus on Love as the Fulfilling of the Law (Lectio Divina)

    What if the command to love was never a debt you could actually pay off? Theodoret of Cyrus reads Paul’s warning about owing nothing but love and finds something stranger than an obligation — a debt that grows the more it’s paid, rather than shrinking. This reflection sits with what it feels like to carry…

  • No Longer Carved in Stone: Augustine of Hippo and Love as God’s One Law (Lectio Divina)

    What if the law you can’t seem to keep was never meant to be kept from outside at all? Augustine insists something was written into you long before you ever tried, and failed, to obey a command pressed on you from without.