Grappling With Divinity

Contemplative Christian Reflections by Robert Van Valkenburgh

Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.


What I Write About

At Grappling With Divinity, I write from within the living stream of Christian mysticism and contemplative prayer, where faith is not mastered but practiced — slowly, honestly, and with reverence.

These reflections explore divine love as it meets us in suffering and joy, doubt and surrender, weakness and awakening. They trace the quiet work of conversion — the lifelong unfolding of grace that reshapes the heart and draws us deeper into union with God.

Here you will find meditations on Scripture, spiritual formation, the wisdom of the mystics, and the hidden movements of God within ordinary life.

This is not a place for easy answers.

It is a place for
Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.

A place where faith deepens through mystery, and where even our struggle becomes prayer.

Lectio Divina (Coming Soon)

My writing follows the ancient rhythm of lectio divina — listening, reflecting, praying, and resting in God. Here you’ll find guidance and reflections shaped by this contemplative way of reading Scripture for transformation, not just information.

Practice Lectio Divina →

Christian Mysticism (Coming Soon)

Christian mysticism is the path of deeper union with God. Drawing from the wisdom of the contemplative tradition, this section reflects on divine love, interior transformation, and the indwelling presence of God at the heart of ordinary life.

Explore Christian Mysticism

Spiritual Direction (Coming Soon)

Spiritual direction is the sacred practice of listening for God together. Rooted in the contemplative tradition and informed by my studies at Loyola University Chicago, this space explores discernment, surrender, and the quiet work of grace in everyday life.

Learn More About Spiritual Direction →


A Contemplative Rule Of Life

GRAPPLING WITH DIVINITY.
WRESTLING WITH GOD.
RETURNING TO LOVE.

Explore My Reflections

Following the contemplative rhythm of Lectio Divina
Moving from Attentive Reading (Lectio)
To Reflection (Meditatio)
To Prayerful Response (Oratio)
And finally into Silent Resting in God (Contemplatio)
Grappling With Divinity invites a slow unfolding of Scripture, Spiritual Wisdom, and Lived Experience.

  • Lectio: Unlikely Places

    Lectio: Unlikely Places

    This thought-provoking reflection by Shams Tabrizi highlights the paradoxical journey to finding or losing God. This Lectio Divina explores how some individuals discover God amidst the depths of their sin, while others might lose sight of Him amidst their blessings. It serves as a reminder of the unpredictable paths of spiritual discovery and the…

  • Oratio: Awakening To Divine Love

    Oratio: Awakening To Divine Love

    Dive into the reflective oratio divina by Robert Van Valkenburgh, exploring the journey from ignorance to awakening in God’s love. This contemplative prayer highlights the innocence of those unaware of God, acting out of fear and misunderstanding. It invites believers to pray for them, hoping they too will experience the light of repentance and…

  • Lectio: Expanding Our Hearts

    Lectio: Expanding Our Hearts

    Explore the profound reflection by Jean-Pierre de Caussade, which likens the will of God to an infinite ocean, brimming with mystery and grace. This piece emphasizes that while God’s will is boundless, our capacity to embrace it depends on the expansion of our hearts through faith, confidence, and love. Through nurturing these virtues, we…

  • Oratio: With Your Light

    Oratio: With Your Light

    Delve into “With Your Light” by Robert Van Valkenburgh, a poignant oratio divina that captures the essence of surrendering to God’s divine will. This heartfelt prayer, set amid the imagery of morning dew and radiant sunlight, beautifully illustrates a soul’s longing to be enveloped by God’s warmth and guided by His light. Allow this…

  • Lectio: Turn From Impermanence

    Lectio: Turn From Impermanence

    Discover the essence of “The Cloud of Unknowing” through the practice of Lectio Divina. This spiritual exercise invites us to trust unwaveringly in the divine purpose behind every event, redirecting our focus from transient worldly matters to a deeper union with God. Let go of the impermanent and embrace the eternal presence and wisdom…

  • Oratio: Speak Your Word

    Oratio: Speak Your Word

    This oratio divina is a prayer of surrender and transformation, inviting the Lord to speak His creative Word into the soul. It expresses a longing for divine renewal through God’s breath and truth—so that every desire, word, and action becomes a vessel of His Word in the world. A meditation on divine intimacy, transformation,…

  • Lectio: Love Begets

    Lectio: Love Begets

    In this reflection on the words of St. John of the Cross, we encounter the transforming power of divine love — a love that shapes the soul into the likeness of the One it adores. True love draws the heart closer to God, conforming our thoughts, desires, and actions to His perfect will. As…

  • Oratio: Often Silent

    Oratio: Often Silent

    This meditation reflects on God’s silence as a profound presence, a mystery deeper than words. It speaks to the trust that even in prayerful darkness, our being rests securely upon the ground of God’s being. A prayer of surrender, stillness, and faith in divine mystery.

  • Lectio: Trust God’s Mercy

    Lectio: Trust God’s Mercy

    Teresa of Avila teaches that the spiritual life is grounded in trusting God’s mercy above our own limited judgment. This Lectio Divina insight calls believers to humility, surrender, and confidence in God’s infinite compassion rather than on self-reliance.

  • Oratio: Even Me

    Oratio: Even Me

    This reflection by Robert Van Valkenburgh expresses awe and gratitude for God’s love. The Creator of the heavens, earth, sun, moon, seas, and all life still loves and cares for us—even in our flaws, resistance, and insignificance. Such divine love humbles the soul and inspires praise and thanksgiving.

  • The Yoke We Were Not Meant To Carry: Brother Lawrence and the Grace That Meets Our Powerlessness (Lectio Divina)

    What if the surrender you keep circling never comes by trying harder, but only by the trying finally giving out? Brother Lawrence asks for a total trust that sounds simple and costs everything, and this reflection sits with the exhaustion that finally lets God in.

  • Owe Nothing But Love: Theodoret of Cyrus on Love as the Fulfilling of the Law (Lectio Divina)

    What if the command to love was never a debt you could actually pay off? Theodoret of Cyrus reads Paul’s warning about owing nothing but love and finds something stranger than an obligation — a debt that grows the more it’s paid, rather than shrinking. This reflection sits with what it feels like to carry…

  • No Longer Carved in Stone: Augustine of Hippo and Love as God’s One Law (Lectio Divina)

    What if the law you can’t seem to keep was never meant to be kept from outside at all? Augustine insists something was written into you long before you ever tried, and failed, to obey a command pressed on you from without.