Grappling With Divinity

Contemplative Christian Reflections by Robert Van Valkenburgh

Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.


What I Write About

At Grappling With Divinity, I write from within the living stream of Christian mysticism and contemplative prayer, where faith is not mastered but practiced — slowly, honestly, and with reverence.

These reflections explore divine love as it meets us in suffering and joy, doubt and surrender, weakness and awakening. They trace the quiet work of conversion — the lifelong unfolding of grace that reshapes the heart and draws us deeper into union with God.

Here you will find meditations on Scripture, spiritual formation, the wisdom of the mystics, and the hidden movements of God within ordinary life.

This is not a place for easy answers.

It is a place for
Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.

A place where faith deepens through mystery, and where even our struggle becomes prayer.

Lectio Divina (Coming Soon)

My writing follows the ancient rhythm of lectio divina — listening, reflecting, praying, and resting in God. Here you’ll find guidance and reflections shaped by this contemplative way of reading Scripture for transformation, not just information.

Practice Lectio Divina →

Christian Mysticism (Coming Soon)

Christian mysticism is the path of deeper union with God. Drawing from the wisdom of the contemplative tradition, this section reflects on divine love, interior transformation, and the indwelling presence of God at the heart of ordinary life.

Explore Christian Mysticism

Spiritual Direction (Coming Soon)

Spiritual direction is the sacred practice of listening for God together. Rooted in the contemplative tradition and informed by my studies at Loyola University Chicago, this space explores discernment, surrender, and the quiet work of grace in everyday life.

Learn More About Spiritual Direction →


A Contemplative Rule Of Life

GRAPPLING WITH DIVINITY.
WRESTLING WITH GOD.
RETURNING TO LOVE.

Explore My Reflections

Following the contemplative rhythm of Lectio Divina
Moving from Attentive Reading (Lectio)
To Reflection (Meditatio)
To Prayerful Response (Oratio)
And finally into Silent Resting in God (Contemplatio)
Grappling With Divinity invites a slow unfolding of Scripture, Spiritual Wisdom, and Lived Experience.

  • Oratio: With All In All

    Oratio: With All In All

    In this poignant oratio divina, Robert Van Valkenburgh expresses the innate human desire for unity and peace reminiscent of Eden before the Fall. Amidst the conflicts and discord of a fractured world, this reflection is a heartfelt prayer for divine assistance, seeking God’s guidance to return to a state of harmony and spiritual union.…

  • Lectio: Convert The Soul

    Lectio: Convert The Soul

    Bernard of Clairvaux discusses the unique power of charity to redirect the soul from self-love and worldly attachments to a pure love of God. He asserts that neither fear nor self-interest can truly convert the soul; they may alter outward behavior, but only charity can transform the object of one’s deepest desires. This reflection…

  • Oratio: Fragments Of Divinity

    Oratio: Fragments Of Divinity

    In this moving oratio divina, Robert Van Valkenburgh captures the introspective journey of confronting one’s imperfections during moments of stillness. As the night’s chill brings a sense of reflection on unspoken words and unfulfilled actions, it also highlights human brokenness and the quest for inner peace. Through prayer, the soul finds hope and a…

  • Lectio: For Your Purification

    Lectio: For Your Purification

    In this enlightening Lectio Divina, Fr. Dan Reehil reflects on the crosses we bear and their divine purpose. He emphasizes that the crosses given by God serve not only as a means for our own purification but also potentially contribute to the salvation of many souls. This reflection invites us to embrace our struggles…

  • Oratio: The God Of All

    Oratio: The God Of All

    In this contemplative oratio divina, Robert Van Valkenburgh ponders the all-encompassing nature of God, emphasizing His presence in and for all creation. The reflection highlights God as the source of life, the living, and love, underscoring His role as the universal provider of our deepest needs. This piece invites readers to deepen their understanding…

  • Lectio: Spiritual Community

    Lectio: Spiritual Community

    In this thought-provoking Lectio Divina, Henri Nouwen reflects on the nature of spiritual community, highlighting the presence of individuals who challenge us the most. This insight reveals that true community involves engaging with those we find difficult, fostering personal growth and deeper love through these interactions. It encourages openness to the transformative power of…

  • Oratio: I Am Reborn

    Oratio: I Am Reborn

    In this powerful oratio divina, Robert Van Valkenburgh articulates the transformative journey of dying and rising with Christ. The reflection captures the transition from brokenness and despair to rebirth and renewal, highlighting the new life, hope, and purpose found in Christ’s resurrection. This piece serves as a testament to the power of Christ’s redemptive…

  • Lectio: We Are Kept

    Lectio: We Are Kept

    In this comforting Lectio Divina, Julian of Norwich reflects on the notion that God allows us to fall, yet in His infinite love, might, and wisdom, He sustains us. This reflection sheds light on the divine purpose behind our struggles, assuring us that even in our failures, we remain held by God’s grace. It…

  • Oratio: A Leaf In A Rainstorm

    Oratio: A Leaf In A Rainstorm

    In this evocative oratio divina, Robert Van Valkenburgh uses the imagery of a storm to illustrate our limited control over life’s events. The reflection presents the natural elements—pouring rain, howling wind, shaking branches—as reminders of our role as created beings, highlighting the humility required to accept our place in the grand design. This piece…

  • Lectio: Sacred Fire Of Love

    Lectio: Sacred Fire Of Love

    In this contemplative Lectio Divina, St. Francis de Sales reflects on the profound journey of repentance, where God places the sacred fire of His love within our hearts. This divine love initially manifests as tears of genuine repentance and ultimately transforms into a glowing fire, symbolizing renewed passion and devotion. This reflection highlights how…

  • True in Us All Along: Thomas Merton and the Faith That Makes All Things New (Lectio Divina)

    What if the good news begins with the one thing we least want to hear: that we cannot do it alone? Thomas Merton asks what makes the Gospel news at all, and this reflection sits with a longing older than our seeking, and with the question of whose longing it really is.

  • The Yoke We Were Not Meant To Carry: Brother Lawrence and the Grace That Meets Our Powerlessness (Lectio Divina)

    What if the surrender you keep circling never comes by trying harder, but only by the trying finally giving out? Brother Lawrence asks for a total trust that sounds simple and costs everything, and this reflection sits with the exhaustion that finally lets God in.

  • Owe Nothing But Love: Theodoret of Cyrus on Love as the Fulfilling of the Law (Lectio Divina)

    What if the command to love was never a debt you could actually pay off? Theodoret of Cyrus reads Paul’s warning about owing nothing but love and finds something stranger than an obligation — a debt that grows the more it’s paid, rather than shrinking. This reflection sits with what it feels like to carry…