Grappling With Divinity

Contemplative Christian Reflections by Robert Van Valkenburgh

Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.


What I Write About

At Grappling With Divinity, I write from within the living stream of Christian mysticism and contemplative prayer, where faith is not mastered but practiced — slowly, honestly, and with reverence.

These reflections explore divine love as it meets us in suffering and joy, doubt and surrender, weakness and awakening. They trace the quiet work of conversion — the lifelong unfolding of grace that reshapes the heart and draws us deeper into union with God.

Here you will find meditations on Scripture, spiritual formation, the wisdom of the mystics, and the hidden movements of God within ordinary life.

This is not a place for easy answers.

It is a place for
Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.

A place where faith deepens through mystery, and where even our struggle becomes prayer.

Lectio Divina (Coming Soon)

My writing follows the ancient rhythm of lectio divina — listening, reflecting, praying, and resting in God. Here you’ll find guidance and reflections shaped by this contemplative way of reading Scripture for transformation, not just information.

Practice Lectio Divina →

Christian Mysticism (Coming Soon)

Christian mysticism is the path of deeper union with God. Drawing from the wisdom of the contemplative tradition, this section reflects on divine love, interior transformation, and the indwelling presence of God at the heart of ordinary life.

Explore Christian Mysticism

Spiritual Direction (Coming Soon)

Spiritual direction is the sacred practice of listening for God together. Rooted in the contemplative tradition and informed by my studies at Loyola University Chicago, this space explores discernment, surrender, and the quiet work of grace in everyday life.

Learn More About Spiritual Direction →


A Contemplative Rule Of Life

GRAPPLING WITH DIVINITY.
WRESTLING WITH GOD.
RETURNING TO LOVE.

Explore My Reflections

Following the contemplative rhythm of Lectio Divina
Moving from Attentive Reading (Lectio)
To Reflection (Meditatio)
To Prayerful Response (Oratio)
And finally into Silent Resting in God (Contemplatio)
Grappling With Divinity invites a slow unfolding of Scripture, Spiritual Wisdom, and Lived Experience.

  • Lectio: A Relationship

    Lectio: A Relationship

    Bishop Robert Barron reminds us that Christianity is not merely a philosophy, moral code, or ideology, but a living and transformative relationship with Jesus Christ, the God-man. True faith centers on encountering Christ Himself, whose presence is both unsettling and life-changing.

  • Oratio: Written On Our Hearts

    Oratio: Written On Our Hearts

    This reflection by Robert Van Valkenburgh reminds us that the Word of God is not just written in scripture but inscribed on our hearts with the ink of love. It is revealed through grace, deepened in silence and humility, and expressed in mercy and goodness toward all creation. At its core, God’s Word is…

  • Lectio: The Ground Of Our Beseeching

    Lectio: The Ground Of Our Beseeching

    Julian of Norwich tells us that God Himself is the foundation of prayer and trust. In Him, authentic prayer and unwavering faith are united, teaching us to approach Him generously with both devotion and confidence.

  • Oratio: Nothing To Offer

    Oratio: Nothing To Offer

    This poem by Robert Van Valkenburgh reflects on complete surrender before God—standing with nothing to offer but oneself, seeking only His grace and mercy. It is a prayer of humility, trust, and abandonment to God’s will, offering one’s life fully into His hands.

  • Lectio: How To Pray

    Lectio: How To Pray

    St. Josemaría Escrivá reminds us that prayer begins simply by placing ourselves in God’s presence. Even admitting, “Lord, I don’t know how to pray,” is already the start of true prayer. This reflection offers encouragement for those who feel uncertain in their spiritual life, showing that God meets us where we are with openness…

  • Oratio: According To The Lord

    Oratio: According To The Lord

    This Christian reflection honors the Blessed Mother’s unwavering faith and her gentle guidance in times of pain, uncertainty, and surrender. She teaches us to trust in God’s perfect will, even when it is difficult to understand, reminding us that His love is always true and holy. A prayerful meditation on surrender, peace, and divine…

  • Lectio: For What Is Eternal

    Lectio: For What Is Eternal

    St. John Eudes reminds us to meditate frequently on eternity, heaven, hell, and death. By reflecting on these eternal truths, we gain clarity to let go of worldly distractions and live with purpose for what truly lasts. This timeless wisdom encourages spiritual focus, detachment from vanity, and a life rooted in eternal values.

  • Oratio: A Vessel Of Grace

    Oratio: A Vessel Of Grace

    In this reflection, Robert Van Valkenburgh shares that true wisdom and creativity do not come from himself but from being a vessel for God’s grace. When he steps aside, God’s presence flows through him, revealing that surrender is the path to divine inspiration.

  • Lectio: By The Word

    Lectio: By The Word

    St. Irenaeus reminds us that the glory of God is revealed in humanity fully alive through Christ, and true life is found in beholding the vision of God in Christ. While creation itself points to God and sustains life, it is the manifestation of the Father through the Word—Jesus Christ—that brings the fullness of…

  • Oratio: Heard My Cries

    Oratio: Heard My Cries

    A moving testimony of God’s mercy, redemption, and healing presence in times of deepest need, this heartfelt Christian reflection by Robert Van Valkenburgh speaks of seeking God in the depths of brokenness, despair, and anguish. In the darkest hour, when consumed by hopelessness, the Lord hears the cries of the suffering soul, brings light…

  • The Yoke We Were Not Meant To Carry: Brother Lawrence and the Grace That Meets Our Powerlessness (Lectio Divina)

    What if the surrender you keep circling never comes by trying harder, but only by the trying finally giving out? Brother Lawrence asks for a total trust that sounds simple and costs everything, and this reflection sits with the exhaustion that finally lets God in.

  • Owe Nothing But Love: Theodoret of Cyrus on Love as the Fulfilling of the Law (Lectio Divina)

    What if the command to love was never a debt you could actually pay off? Theodoret of Cyrus reads Paul’s warning about owing nothing but love and finds something stranger than an obligation — a debt that grows the more it’s paid, rather than shrinking. This reflection sits with what it feels like to carry…

  • No Longer Carved in Stone: Augustine of Hippo and Love as God’s One Law (Lectio Divina)

    What if the law you can’t seem to keep was never meant to be kept from outside at all? Augustine insists something was written into you long before you ever tried, and failed, to obey a command pressed on you from without.