Grappling With Divinity

Contemplative Christian Reflections by Robert Van Valkenburgh

Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.


What I Write About

At Grappling With Divinity, I write from within the living stream of Christian mysticism and contemplative prayer, where faith is not mastered but practiced — slowly, honestly, and with reverence.

These reflections explore divine love as it meets us in suffering and joy, doubt and surrender, weakness and awakening. They trace the quiet work of conversion — the lifelong unfolding of grace that reshapes the heart and draws us deeper into union with God.

Here you will find meditations on Scripture, spiritual formation, the wisdom of the mystics, and the hidden movements of God within ordinary life.

This is not a place for easy answers.

It is a place for
Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.

A place where faith deepens through mystery, and where even our struggle becomes prayer.

Lectio Divina (Coming Soon)

My writing follows the ancient rhythm of lectio divina — listening, reflecting, praying, and resting in God. Here you’ll find guidance and reflections shaped by this contemplative way of reading Scripture for transformation, not just information.

Practice Lectio Divina →

Christian Mysticism (Coming Soon)

Christian mysticism is the path of deeper union with God. Drawing from the wisdom of the contemplative tradition, this section reflects on divine love, interior transformation, and the indwelling presence of God at the heart of ordinary life.

Explore Christian Mysticism

Spiritual Direction (Coming Soon)

Spiritual direction is the sacred practice of listening for God together. Rooted in the contemplative tradition and informed by my studies at Loyola University Chicago, this space explores discernment, surrender, and the quiet work of grace in everyday life.

Learn More About Spiritual Direction →


A Contemplative Rule Of Life

GRAPPLING WITH DIVINITY.
WRESTLING WITH GOD.
RETURNING TO LOVE.

Explore My Reflections

Following the contemplative rhythm of Lectio Divina
Moving from Attentive Reading (Lectio)
To Reflection (Meditatio)
To Prayerful Response (Oratio)
And finally into Silent Resting in God (Contemplatio)
Grappling With Divinity invites a slow unfolding of Scripture, Spiritual Wisdom, and Lived Experience.

  • Lectio: Help From Him

    Lectio: Help From Him

    “He makes Himself known to those who, after doing all that their powers will allow, confess that they need help from Him.” ~Origen of Alexandria

  • Oratio: Passing Storm

    Oratio: Passing Storm

    The storm passesleaving behindthe scent of renewalas the angry cloudsdissipatea rainbow emergesin the skya loving reminderof God’s covenantwe will not be washed awaywe will not be drowned by sinHe has rescued usfrom the watersof destructionwe need only acceptthis gift of salvation ~Robert Van Valkenburgh

  • Lectio: Angels And Demons

    Lectio: Angels And Demons

    “If then we have angels, let us be sober, as though we were in the presence of tutors; for there is a demon present also.” ~St. John Chrysostom

  • Oratio: As Christ

    Oratio: As Christ

    When I look at youI pray to see youas Christ sees youwhen you approach meI pray to receive youas Christ receives youwhen I listen to youI pray to hear youas Christ hears youwhen you need meI pray to serve youas Christ serves youwhen I pray for youI pray to love youas Christ loves you…

  • Lectio: Service Is

    Lectio: Service Is

    “Service is: God in us, loving God in others.” ~Father Thomas Keating

  • Oratio: Welcome Home

    Oratio: Welcome Home

    I was rescuedfrom the wildernessby the Lordsaved from my ownselfish desiresand false worshipled back into His careand protectionbut in my weaknessI wandered awayfrom the flock once morefalling prey to the wolvesof temptationwho would have my soulif it were not for the Lordwho always welcomes me homewhen I repent and believeupon Christ my savior ~Robert…

  • Lectio: Moved To Anger

    Lectio: Moved To Anger

    “If wishing to correct another, you are moved to anger, you gratify your own passion. Do not lose yourself in order to save another.” ~Abbott Macarius

  • Oratio: Carry The Song

    Oratio: Carry The Song

    God gave us each otherto carry the songfor thosewho cannot singwhen griefand sadnessare too much too bearHe gave me youHe gave you me ~Robert Van Valkenburgh

  • Lectio: By Their Fruits

    Lectio: By Their Fruits

    “Just so, every good tree bears good fruit, and a rotten tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a rotten tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire. So by their fruits you will know…

  • Oratio: Dead Trees Must Fall

    Oratio: Dead Trees Must Fall

    The Lord uprootsthe dead treesin our gardenmaking the old newmaking the weak strongshining His lighton the open spaceswhere He has madea new wayinto our heartsfor He does not allowus to cling to the pastHis ways are resurrectionand renewalbut for these to take placedead trees must fall ~Robert Van Valkenburgh

  • Remain With God: On Stability, Transformation, and the Vow We All Carry (Lectio Divina)

    What does it mean to stay — not just in one place, but in one life, with one community, for the sake of love? Drawing on Esther de Waal’s Benedictine wisdom and Paul’s counsel to remain in the condition in which we were called, this Lectio Divina explores the vow of stability as a universal…

  • Not the Final Word: On Suffering, Brokenness, and Grace (Lectio Divina)

    Some days — some weeks, months, and years — we are going to be beaten down by the world’s brokenness. Suffering is real, brokenness is real, and the pain we carry can feel like our ultimate reality. And yet, in silence and stillness, something more real than our suffering is revealed. Drawing on St. Thérèse…

  • Every Breath a Prayer: Life as Offering and Sacrament in Christ (Lectio Divina)

    What if every breath is a prayer and every action an offering? Drawing on Karl Rahner’s theology of the liturgy of the world and the Ignatian tradition of everyday spirituality, this Lectio Divina reflection explores how life in Christ transforms the ordinary into sacrament — and how, through him, we are emptied of the false…