Lectio
“Let us desire that not our wills, but His will, be done. If we have not progressed as far as this, then, as I have said, let us practise humility, which is the ointment for our wounds; if we are truly humble, God, the Physician, will come in due course, even though He tarry, to heal us.”
— Teresa of Ávila, Interior Castle
Meditatio
What if Christ behaved as I do every time He was challenged, hurt, or resented the circumstances laid at His feet?
What if, when mocked, insulted, or accused, Christ retaliated against those whose words were used against Him, mocking, insulting, and accusing them in kind? What if, when emotionally or physically hurt, He lashed out, or cowered in deference, or simply ran away? And what if, when faced with the cross, Christ rejected the reality of His circumstances, took His fate into His own hands, and created a new life for Himself in a new town with new acquaintances?
What if, when faced with His own humanity in this world of wounded humanity, Jesus said, “No,” to the will of the Father and used His freedom to create a life for Himself in the image and likeness of His own desires, comfort, and imagined ideal of what peace and joy should be? What if, along with the wheat, Jesus tore up all of the weeds wherever He went so that He would have an easy life, a life without conflict, and a life without discomfort or pain? What if, rather than facing the brokenness of the world with love, mercy, and forgiveness, Christ hated those who hated Him, judged those who judged Him, and retaliated against those who injured or insulted Him?
What if, instead of bowing down to the Father to do His will, Jesus rebelled, revolted, and rejected the Lord’s purpose for Him? What if He hid as a carpenter and never exposed His divinity to the world — never preached in the temple, never healed the sick, raised the dead, or fed the hungry? What if, rather than risking persecution, humiliation, and death, Jesus chose the dubious comfort of anonymity and simply remained a poor tradesman, a worker among workers, and a man among men?
What if Christ avoided the cross altogether? What if He ran from Gethsemane or led His followers into cloistered monasticism or raised an army to destroy those who wished to crucify Him?
In short, what if Jesus thought, spoke, and behaved like me? What would happen to all of the lost souls whom He came to save? What would happen to God’s creation and His beloved creatures? What would happen to me if Jesus lived like me?
Thank You, Jesus, for not living like me. Through Your grace and Your mercy, may I decrease in fear, selfishness, and wrath that You may increase in love in and through me. Amen.
Oratio
So Much Lord
I need You so much Lord
it tears my heart open
without You
I run
I cower
I hoard
I devour
I destroy all that is good
the smallness of my life
consumes me
this darkness I have made
by my will alone
I need You so much Lord
Your love
Your light
Your life
it tears my heart open
filling it with You
there is nothing without You
Contemplatio
Every refusal, every retaliation, every fear-built wall you have ever raised — He knows it, and still comes. You do not have to arrive worthy of what He wants to give you. Sit with this in silence, consenting to His presence, and let Him move in you however He wills.
Related Scripture
“Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited, but emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, being born in human likeness. And being found in human form, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death—even death on a cross.”
— Philippians 2:5-8 (NRSVCE)
For Further Reading
If you enjoyed this post, you may also like Hate the Sickness, Not the Sick: Amma Syncletica of the Desert on Forgiveness and the Cross, which meets the same wounded-and-wounding humanity from the other side — not what Christ refused to do when hurt, but what we are asked to do when we are the ones hurt by others.
Robert Van Valkenburgh
Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.
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