“Love means embracing the poverty of not owning the other.”
~Fr. James Martin, SJ
Reflection:
Where in my relationships do I try to control or possess, rather than love with freedom and trust?
Scripture:
“Love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor.” — Romans 12:10
And just like that
it passes us by
before we can blink
before we can say
our last goodbye
we can ask it to stop
beg for it to slow down
but time waits for no one
we are all leaving
on our way to somewhere
simply passing one another
on the road
strangers
friends
on our way home
~Robert Van Valkenburgh
How can recognizing the transient nature of time and embracing our shared journey with others enrich our understanding of life and our ultimate destination?
When my wife and I were dating, we would talk on the phone for hours every night about everything and nothing. She would whisper from beneath the blankets in her makeshift room in the basement of her cousin’s home, trying to be quiet so that she didn’t wake up her niece and aunt with whom she shared the space. I would whisper back because, the house I lived in was so old and the insulation so non-existent, the neighbor upstairs and I could hear every word the other one said.
We would often talk for so long that one or both of us would fall asleep on the phone. Not wanting the conversation to end, neither of us wanted to be the first to say goodbye. Having to hang up felt excruciating. It felt like we were being pulled apart, never to speak again. She was the last thing I thought about as I went to sleep and the first thing I thought about when I woke up the next morning.
Even though I was thirty years old and she was twenty five, this experience made me feel so young and alive, like I was a teenager again discovering love for the first time. There was something truly magical about this time and, even thinking about it now brings a smile to my face. It was innocent and beautiful. We laughed a lot.
Her, being from Cambodia, and me, from the United States, we sometimes had difficulty understanding one another. Her English was not bad by any means, but she didn’t always have the right word or the correct pronunciation for what she wanted to say and my Khmer was way worse than her English. So we would often have to spell words to each other in order to understand what the other was saying. We tried so hard to understand each other. There was so much patience, graciousness, and kindness in those conversations.
I miss that time, those experiences, and the people we were back then. Writing this, I am reminded of how far we have come together, but also how far away from that innocence we have gotten. It’s bittersweet. It makes me want to do better, to be better for her, for myself, and for us.
~Robert Van Valkenburgh
Grappling With Divinity 