Lectio
“I do not endeavor, O Lord, to penetrate your sublimity, for in no wise do I compare my understanding with that; but I long to understand in some degree your truth, which my heart believes and loves.”
— St. Anselm of Canterbury, Proslogion
Meditatio
There is no amount of effort, prayerful or otherwise, that can unveil God’s truth to us. The unveiling is His alone to give, and He is not absent while we wait for it. We cannot make that which indwells us more present to us by trying harder, by thinking more deeply, or by wishing it to be so. Nor are our petitions the reason He gives Himself to us. But that does not mean our efforts, our prayers, and our desires are useless.
Christ promises that, when we cry out to God, we are heard. He assures us that when we seek God, we will find Him, and that when we knock on His door, it will be opened to us. Yet God does not come to us because we cry out, petition, or toil to reach Him; He is already within us, and He hears and answers through those very cries. Our crying out, our praying in His name, and our labors to know His favor are themselves a response to His presence, calling out to Himself in us, longing to return us to the Source of our lives and of the very Love we so deeply desire.
The sublimity of the Lord is not, therefore, something we must endeavor to penetrate through sheer force of will. Rather, the sublimity of God’s grace penetrates us, from the inside out, breaking us open to His light and His love. And while this may sometimes happen quickly, sometimes slowly, it is always by His initiation, His mercy, and His longing for us to rest in His arms. The sublimity of God is God’s very self, poured out in us and for us in every moment: in the beauty He creates and the suffering He redeems, woven together as our lives, even in our inability to penetrate the mystery of it all.
Oratio
Even In My Suffering
come to my assistance
God of mercy
reveal to me
Your sublime wonders
open my eyes
to Your grace
even in my suffering
may Your light shine forth
Your holiness
is a mystery to me
Your love
is beyond my reach
yet here You are
giving Yourself to me
Your Spirit indwelling me
even in my suffering
beyond my deserving
beyond my comprehension
I would ask for Your love
but Your response would be
it is already yours, my child
even in your suffering
Contemplatio
The sublimity you cannot penetrate is already penetrating you, in His time and by His mercy. There is nothing left for you to earn, and nothing you reach for that is not already reaching for you. Lay down the effort for now, say yes in the quiet, and let Him come as He will.
Related Scripture
“O Lord, my heart is not lifted up, my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; my soul is like the weaned child that is with me.”
For Further Reading
If you enjoyed this post, you may also like No Need To Grow: Thérèse of Lisieux and the Little Way of Being Lifted (Lectio Divina), which meets the same height we cannot climb from the other side, with a soul too small to rise and the Arms that lift her.
Robert Van Valkenburgh
Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.
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