Lectio
“Behold then the eternity that is our refuge, that we may fly thither from the mutability of time, there to remain for evermore.”
— St. Augustine, Expositions on the Psalms
Meditatio
God is not merely inviting us into relationship with Him in the worldly sense of beginning and ending, as if the communion He offers us were temporary and fleeting like all that we touch, taste, hear, smell, and see. He is not inviting us into a bond similar to the imperfect bonds we form with each other, with conditions, expectations, and limitations. No. God is inviting us into eternity with Him.
And perhaps that is what frightens us most.
Perhaps what we are most afraid of is that, if we accept this heavenly invitation, we will miss out on something better, that we will pass up an opportunity for something greater, as if there were anything better, as if there were anything greater than God Himself. Perhaps we imagine that some relationship, experience, or achievement we are offered in this passing world will be more real, more fulfilling, and more permanent than that which does not pass. Perhaps we are afraid that, to accept an invitation into eternal relationship, we must give up all of our aspirations, all of our pleasures, and all of ourselves.
And perhaps we are right. Perhaps it will cost us everything.
Worse, perhaps it will cost us everything for nothing. Perhaps what God offers is not real. Perhaps His promise is not true. Perhaps He is not who He says He is and we are not who He claims us to be. Perhaps what we can touch and taste and hear and smell and see is all there is, that there is nothing more, nothing deeper, nothing greater. Perhaps to die to ourselves now — to give up our desires and fears and attachments — is simply to die, to become nothing, to have nothing.
This is how the invitation feels to us: a gamble. All or nothing. Either we hold on to what we have, clinging to what is familiar and continuing on as we are going, or we give all of ourselves to Him. Like Abraham leaving his father’s house without knowing where he was going, or the rich young man walking away from Jesus in grief, we are invited to choose.
But it is not easy.
On our own, we cannot imagine the Kingdom of God. We cannot conceive of eternity. We have no point of reference for what perfect acceptance of perfect relationship with perfect God might look like. And yet we have been shown. In Christ, we have seen God’s face turned toward us in human flesh, and through the Holy Spirit, we have known, even if only in graced glimpses, something we could not touch, taste, hear, smell, or see, and could not deny: that eternity is real, that the Kingdom is more than a place, and that what we most fear losing is small beside what is being offered.
Those glimpses do not last. We return to time, to our fears, to the familiar things we clutch. But they are enough to show us where our refuge is. Through Christ, with Him, and in Him, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, we are drawn into the communion God is, begun now and perfected in the life to come. We will pass through death, but not alone, and not into nothing. Whatever we let go of in time is not lost. It is held for us in eternity.
So when we hear Him say, “Do not be afraid,” we can begin to believe Him. The choice is truly ours, because Love does not coerce. But even the desire to choose Him is His gift, stirred in us by the Holy Spirit long before we knew to want it.
Oratio
Acclimating Darkness
eternally
my refuge
darkness
illuminated
beyond
my sensing
waiting
resting
acclimating
receiving the light
becoming the light
eternally
with the Light
Contemplatio
Time will keep moving around you, and your fears will keep speaking. Beneath them, eternity is already here, and your refuge is already open. Step into the stillness and stay awhile. Rest, consent, and let Him hold what you cannot.
Related Scripture
“So we do not lose heart. Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure, because we look not at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen; for what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal.”
— 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (NRSVCE)
For Further Reading
If you enjoyed this post, you may also like The Brimming Fullness: Guardini and the Eternity Deep Within Us (Lectio Divina), which turns from the fear of losing what passes toward the eternity already resting within us, waiting to be found through the very things we are afraid to let go.
Robert Van Valkenburgh
Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.
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