Lectio
“May it please His Majesty often to bestow this prayer upon us since it brings us such security and such benefit. For, as it is an entirely supernatural thing, we cannot acquire it.”
— Teresa of Ávila, Interior Castle
Meditatio
Contemplation is a gift of grace, a state of being bestowed by God, not gathered up by effort. No amount of sitting still can earn us this state. Nor will any specific number of prayers achieve it for us any more than a certain memorized prayer or set of prayers will convince God to give it to us.
Contemplation cannot be coaxed, negotiated, or forced. It comes to us as God pleases and goes away as mysteriously. We who have had glimpses of this graced state of oneness know that we do not understand how or why it came to us any more than how to get it back once it leaves. But we do know that this state of divine nothingness and everythingness, no matter how briefly we were blessed enough to enter into it or have it enter into us, left us changed, unable to return to who we were prior to being transfigured by oneness.
In this way, contemplation both fulfills us in ways we never before imagined but also leaves us longing for more of itself — for more of Godself — in ways we know we are powerless to do anything about. And while we cannot, of our own power or effort, recreate this moment of perfect union with God, we remain to hope. Out of obediential fidelity to the One who gifted us with this experience, we are faithful to Him — trusting He will not leave us wanting, and that He will draw us nearer to Himself over time.
And so we return to our room, we shut the door, and we pray to our Father who is in secret, trusting that He will find us there waiting for Him, waiting with Him. We sit and we trust that this stillness we cannot create is being created in us, that our faithfulness to this daily rendezvous with God is not for nothing. It is not for nothing.
Oratio
Not My Own
this silence
is not my own
I was called here
drawn into love by Love
I would not have chosen this
I could not have known this
nor can I alone sustain this
drawn into love by Love
I was called here
it is not my own
this stillness
Contemplatio
The stillness God desires for you in Him was never yours to build, only yours to receive. Let it hold you, asking nothing, proving nothing. Offer Him your consent, your desire, your longing, and let God be God in you.
Related Scripture
“For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God— not the result of works, so that no one may boast.”
— Ephesians 2:8-9 (NRSVCE)
For Further Reading
If you enjoyed this post, you may also like The Poverty That Draws Him Near: Surrender, Love, and the Wound That Opens Us, which turns from contemplation’s unearned gift toward the deeper poverty in which Love finds us before we can offer anything in return.
Robert Van Valkenburgh
Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.
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