Lectio:
“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves.”
— Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island
Meditatio:
Deep down, we all want to be loved as we are. We want to be loved not only for our better traits, features, and characteristics, but also with and for our flaws, failures, and shortcomings. We want to be loved in and for our brokenness (Romans 5:8). We want to be loved as ourselves, without exception, excuse, or explanation—for all that we are and are not.
But deep down, we also fear that we aren’t, that we can’t be, and that we will never be loved as we are. We hold our flaws, failures, and shortcomings tight to our chests, covering our tender hearts like a shield or a fig leaf to hide our shame, remorse, and guilt, imagining that these—not love—get to name who we are (Genesis 3:7-10). We fear that if anyone saw the truth of who we are as we see it, they would know, as we know, that we are forever unlovable.
If only we could see and accept ourselves the way God sees and accepts us. If only we knew that His love is without condition, without exception, and without end. If only we could stop saying no to the boundless, overflowing abundance of grace, mercy, and forgiveness that is God’s divine, indwelling Spirit. Then perhaps we would glimpse, even if just for a moment, that we are loved exactly in, as, and for our fragility, vulnerability, and nakedness—that exactly as we are, without qualification or stipulation, we are His beloved children (1 John 3:1).
When Jesus tells us to love our neighbors as ourselves, it presupposes that we love ourselves—or at least that we have some inkling and acceptance of how much we are loved by Him (Matthew 22:37-39). From this place of being loved by God, we begin to see that others are loved in the same way, and with His grace, we are then able to love them in this way as well. For if God accepts and loves us exactly as we are, forgiving all our flaws, failures, and shortcomings, how can we not offer the same love and forgiveness to others, lest we become like the unmerciful servant (Matthew 18:21-35)?
And yet, none of this is easy. It is perhaps the most difficult thing—the only thing. And so, we remain to pray.
Oratio:
Be not angry at yourself my child
for the selves you used to be
you had to be all those selves
so that you could return to me
when I saw you in the distance
I ran to hold you tight
no matter what you do or say
I will never leave your side
be burdened not by guilt or shame
they leave no room for grace
hide not behind who you think you are
I know your heart and see yout face
your past does not define you
only love gives you your name
I am here I never left you
nothing can make that change
I loved you then I love you now
with everything I am
as I’ve loved you love others
open your heart to them
Contemplatio:
In what ways do you allow brokenness to determine how you receive love or how you love others?
Related Scripture:
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” — Psalm 139:13 (ESV)
For Further Reading:
If you enjoyed this reflection, you may also like Only Love Is Forever: Finding Light in the Darkness That Feels Without End
~Robert Van Valkenburgh
Grappling with Divinity.
Wrestling with Peace.
Returning to Love.
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