Mind like a stormy sea
ghosts chase after me
what was
what could have been
my self
my greatest enemy
desire won’t let me be
demons keep tempting me
can’t run
can’t break free
darkness
rising up in me
Jesus I give myself to thee
my ways brought me to my knees
lamb of God
sacrificed for me
salvation
finally I’m free
~Robert Van Valkenburgh
Reflection:
From the desert fathers and mothers who fled the world’s distractions into the lonely wilderness, to St. John of the Cross’s teachings on the Dark Night of the Soul, the spiritual journey often feels like a battle within. In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus himself warns of the inner struggle, teaching that “a house divided against itself cannot stand” (Matthew 12:25). Though we might feel assailed by desire, fear, shame, or grief, the saints teach that surrender is not defeat but transformation — a letting go of false selves so the true self in Christ may emerge.
Christian mystics like Meister Eckhart and St. Teresa of Avila encourage us to lean into this surrender not by sheer will but by grace, acknowledging that our own efforts cannot save us, but in letting go we find, paradoxically, deeper union with the Lamb who was slain and yet lives. In that surrender — in trust, in prayer, in confession — the storm within is met by a greater peace without end (Isaiah 9:7).
Question for Meditation:
In the tumult of your thoughts and desires, where is Christ calling you to release control and trust?
Related Scripture:
“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.” — James 4:10 (NRSV)
For Further Reading:
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