“We can either let the circumstances of our lives harden us, or we can let them soften us and make us kinder.”
~Pema Chödrön
Reflection:
Pema Chödrön’s wisdom that we can let life’s circumstances either harden or soften us finds a deep resonance within the Christian mystical path. The saints speak of this same inner crossroads where suffering becomes either a wall or a doorway. St. John of the Cross describes the soul’s trials as a “dark night,” not to crush us, but to empty us so that God’s love can fill us more completely. In this light, hardship is not an enemy of the spiritual life but its unlikely companion, shaping us into vessels of mercy. Julian of Norwich, gazing upon Christ’s wounded love, proclaims, “All shall be well,” not because pain vanishes, but because divine compassion holds it. Scripture reveals this gentle transformation in Christ himself, who, though rejected and sorrowful, responds with forgiveness and healing rather than bitterness. When we choose softness over hardness, we walk the same path of kenosis—self-emptying love—that Jesus embodied. Chödrön’s invitation to kindness amid difficulty mirrors the Christian call to let grace meet us in our vulnerability, so that what wounds us also widens our hearts. In allowing God to work through our broken places, we discover that tenderness, not toughness, becomes the true strength of the soul.
Question for Meditation:
How might embracing your current struggles as a way God is softening your heart change the way you respond to others?
Related Scripture:
“Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” — Ephesians 4:32 (ESV)
For Further Reading: If you enjoyed this post, you may also like: Let Go Of God To Receive God: Detatchment, Grace, and Divine Union
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