Grappling With Divinity

God’s will is often hidden from me. It is unclear, in the day to day comings and goings of my life, exactly where he is guiding me, at least in this life. I have faith in his word and his will, and I am willing to conform to his plans, but sometimes I feel lost in the darkness, unable to see what is next.

In these seasons of darkness, it can seem like God is far away. It can feel as though I have been abandoned or forsaken. Feelings are deceptive, however. The truth is that God is nearer to me than I am to myself, and he never abandons or forsakes his children.

If one of us is lost, Jesus explains in Luke 15, God will stop at nothing to bring us back to him. This is such an important point, in fact, that Jesus uses three separate examples to drive this message home. He likens God to a shepherd who seeks after his lost sheep, a woman who scours her home for a lost coin, and a father who celebrates the return of his lost son.

In all three of these parables, several things are apparent. Firstly, we see that God will seek after us if we are lost. Secondly, once we are found by God or return home to him, he will rejoice. And thirdly, that not only God, but all of heaven celebrates the homecoming of each and every sinner who turns back to the Lord and the path of righteousness.

What does all of this have to do with my feeling lost and in the dark? It tells me that my feelings are only temporary, that as much as I am seeking God, he is also seeking me. It also tells me that God celebrates my union or reunion with him and that the saints rejoice when I follow the path of love and righteousness that he sets forth for me.

Finding that path is not always easy, but God is both persistent and insistent. He is persistent in that will not stop until I am with him, safe and protected by his love, removing every obstacle from between us along the way. He is insistent in that his word is true and his will is perfect, and he will not lead me astray.

Although the way forward is uncertain to me, I trust that this is only a season. Neither the sheep, the coin, nor the son stayed lost, and neither will I. God is good and I am not abandoned or forsaken. And so I pray that this darkness subsides or that he gives me enough light to move through it.

~Robert Van Valkenburgh