Grappling With Divinity

Contemplative Christian Reflections by Robert Van Valkenburgh

Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.


What I Write About

At Grappling With Divinity, I write from within the living stream of Christian mysticism and contemplative prayer, where faith is not mastered but practiced — slowly, honestly, and with reverence.

These reflections explore divine love as it meets us in suffering and joy, doubt and surrender, weakness and awakening. They trace the quiet work of conversion — the lifelong unfolding of grace that reshapes the heart and draws us deeper into union with God.

Here you will find meditations on Scripture, spiritual formation, the wisdom of the mystics, and the hidden movements of God within ordinary life.

This is not a place for easy answers.

It is a place for
Grappling With Divinity.
Wrestling With God.
Returning To Love.

A place where faith deepens through mystery, and where even our struggle becomes prayer.

Lectio Divina (Coming Soon)

My writing follows the ancient rhythm of lectio divina — listening, reflecting, praying, and resting in God. Here you’ll find guidance and reflections shaped by this contemplative way of reading Scripture for transformation, not just information.

Practice Lectio Divina →

Christian Mysticism (Coming Soon)

Christian mysticism is the path of deeper union with God. Drawing from the wisdom of the contemplative tradition, this section reflects on divine love, interior transformation, and the indwelling presence of God at the heart of ordinary life.

Explore Christian Mysticism

Spiritual Direction (Coming Soon)

Spiritual direction is the sacred practice of listening for God together. Rooted in the contemplative tradition and informed by my studies at Loyola University Chicago, this space explores discernment, surrender, and the quiet work of grace in everyday life.

Learn More About Spiritual Direction →


A Contemplative Rule Of Life

GRAPPLING WITH DIVINITY.
WRESTLING WITH GOD.
RETURNING TO LOVE.

Explore My Reflections

Following the contemplative rhythm of Lectio Divina
Moving from Attentive Reading (Lectio)
To Reflection (Meditatio)
To Prayerful Response (Oratio)
And finally into Silent Resting in God (Contemplatio)
Grappling With Divinity invites a slow unfolding of Scripture, Spiritual Wisdom, and Lived Experience.

  • Lectio Divina: The Sun Shines On The Blind

    Lectio Divina: The Sun Shines On The Blind

    St. Anthony the Great reminds us that God never withdraws His presence, even when we fall into sin. Just as the sun continues to shine though the blind cannot see it, God remains constant, steady, and radiant in His love. This Lectio Divina invites us to reflect on the unwavering mercy of God and…

  • Oratio Divina: In And Around Me

    Oratio Divina: In And Around Me

    This Oratio Divina reflects on the unwavering presence and sustaining love of God, especially in moments when He feels unseen. It affirms that God does not punish, abandon, or forsake His children, but instead works for them—upholding, guiding, and surrounding them with grace. This prayer invites readers to trust in God’s quiet nearness and…

  • Lectio Divina: Set The World On Fire

    Lectio Divina: Set The World On Fire

    Catherine of Siena’s timeless reminder invites us to embrace our God-given identity with courage and authenticity. This Lectio Divina meditation reflects on the truth that holiness is not about becoming someone else, but about becoming fully who God created us to be. When we live in alignment with our divine purpose, our lives radiate…

  • Oratio Divina: I Met God In The Gutter

    Oratio Divina: I Met God In The Gutter

    “I Met God in the Gutter” reflects on encountering God not in pristine or idyllic places, but in moments of absolute brokenness. Rather than being discovered on mountaintops, God is revealed in the depths—among the hurting, the addicted, and the forgotten. This oratio divina invites readers to recognize that divine grace often meets us…

  • Lectio Divina: The Glory Of God

    Lectio Divina: The Glory Of God

    Irenaeus reminds us that God’s glory is revealed not in our striving, but in our becoming fully alive in Him. To live in the fullness of our humanity is to allow the vision of God—His love, His presence, His truth—to animate every part of our being. This Lectio invites readers to contemplate the deep…

  • Oratio Divina: Because He Is Good

    Oratio Divina: Because He Is Good

    This oratio divina by Robert Van Valkenburgh is a heartfelt prayer of humility and dependence on Christ’s goodness. It reflects the transformation that occurs when one surrenders self-reliance and finds grace in divine mercy. The poet acknowledges that apart from Christ, life leads to despair and destruction—but in Christ, there is forgiveness, strength, comfort,…

  • Lectio Divina: In Need Of Mercy

    Lectio Divina: In Need Of Mercy

    In this Lectio Divina inspired by St. Thérèse of Lisieux, we are reminded that imperfection is not a flaw to be feared but a grace that draws us closer to God. Recognizing our weakness allows us to depend on His boundless mercy rather than our own strength. In humility, we discover joy—the joy of…

  • Oratio Divina: Love Given Freely

    Oratio Divina: Love Given Freely

    In this heartfelt prayer, we are reminded that God’s love is limitless, freely given to all — friend, foe, and self alike. The oratio calls us to reflect on our own willingness to share that same unconditional love, rejecting the urge to judge or withhold mercy. It invites a deeper awareness of how divine…

  • Lectio Divina: Valley Of Tears

    Lectio Divina: Valley Of Tears

    In this reflection on the words of St. Francis Xavier, SJ, we are reminded that even in life’s valleys of sorrow and suffering, love remains our truest path to God. Through love, our pain becomes prayer, and our tears become a sacred offering. This Lectio Divina invites us to see suffering not as separation…

  • Oratio Divina: In Memoriam

    Oratio Divina: In Memoriam

    In this Oratio Divina, Robert Van Valkenburgh reflects on the sacred connection between grief and love. Our sorrow, he writes, is not a sign of weakness but of the profound love we have shared. Each tear becomes a quiet prayer—a memorial to the joy, laughter, and bonds that transcend even death. This meditation invites…

  • The Yoke We Were Not Meant To Carry: Brother Lawrence and the Grace That Meets Our Powerlessness (Lectio Divina)

    What if the surrender you keep circling never comes by trying harder, but only by the trying finally giving out? Brother Lawrence asks for a total trust that sounds simple and costs everything, and this reflection sits with the exhaustion that finally lets God in.

  • Owe Nothing But Love: Theodoret of Cyrus on Love as the Fulfilling of the Law (Lectio Divina)

    What if the command to love was never a debt you could actually pay off? Theodoret of Cyrus reads Paul’s warning about owing nothing but love and finds something stranger than an obligation — a debt that grows the more it’s paid, rather than shrinking. This reflection sits with what it feels like to carry…

  • No Longer Carved in Stone: Augustine of Hippo and Love as God’s One Law (Lectio Divina)

    What if the law you can’t seem to keep was never meant to be kept from outside at all? Augustine insists something was written into you long before you ever tried, and failed, to obey a command pressed on you from without.